Ok. So you broke up, or divorced, and each of you is moving on with it’s life. But there is still something that keeps you moving on completely. And because he feels the same way too, you decide to give it another try. But, going back to your ex , would be a good idea, or a bad one? And if you think that this relationship has a chance of working out, what steps can you do, so this time, to be in a successful relation?
Break-ups are always difficult and painful
Although you will put an effort into it, and succeed to build up a happy relationship with your ex, the chances of this success depend also on the reason why the break-up happened in the first place.
Those who broke up because of some frustration or stress, will get over it, and realize that they do want to be together. These couples have the most chances to pick up where they left, and make things happen. They have to keep in mind dough, that stress is not a good reason for a couple to break-up, and they will have to work things out by communicating more.
With less chances of success, are those who left unfinished issues, because they didn’t get the chance to tell everything they felt in the moment of breaking-up. The partners in this situation say that they feel like they were drawn to their ex, like a magnet, and admit that they cannot stay away from each other. They feel that they cannot move on, and that they have to be together again, even dough it is about the need for a confirmation for the break-up.
One more try
Of course, if you decided to give it another try with your ex, and you are so happy in each other’s arms, you will be tempted to forget all the problems from the past, and put them under the carpet, and focus only on your future.
Well, this might actually not be a good idea. The problems that you had, can come back. So it is important for you, that before you step in again in the relationship, to talk and solve all the „tabu” subjects (for example, if you want to have children or not).
It is important that you understand that your partner might have changed since last time you were together. Do not assume that he or she is the same, and especially if some years have passed until the moment you meet again. Time had passed, and he or she might had some experiences you don’t know about, and might affected them in different ways. You have to see him or her, like a new partner, a new relationship, and definitely not one that you pick up from where you left it.
Dangerous moments
All that time when you were apart, has given you the opportunity to meet other people, and made you realize what went wrong in your relationship, and also that you want to start over.
There are some partners that don’t deserve another chance. A violent partner might be a good example. Another example can be a partner that you don’t feel proper to be next to anymore, and especially if your opinion is confirmed by your friends and family. If everyone thinks like that, it must have some truth in it. So you might take a long time to think before acting.
Some couples have the tendency to break up many times, end up together again, but in the end, that kind of relationship, will take them nowhere.
And if your ex is not getting off your case, and insisting too much with going back together, you have to be clear, and tell him that you need time to think about it before taking any hasty decision.
The most important things to remember when you get back with your ex, is the reason WHY you broke up in the first place. Can you get over it this time? Will your ex change from this point of view? Will you be able to totally forgive? Will you trust your ex again?
Think about it, and remember, the decision is yours, but also the consequences that follow.
If you have any doubts, and you feel the need to talk to me for more support, or to just clear your ideas, you can also write to me on my e-mail, ncraluca@gmail.com, or you can schedule a short meeting via Skype. Send me a message about the date and the hour, and we will make it happen!
Simple way of life 